Cowardly Dance
by NAO-chan33
Summary: Narumiya Mei might be known as one of the best pitchers, but his arrogance and insensitivity does not translate well into the realm of friendship and love. Hana always knew that he never felt the same, but she was a coward. And now? Now, she knew he was a coward for not owning up to his words. They could never be friends ever again. (One-sided OC x Narumiya Mei) (OOC Mei)


**Hey everyone.**

 **WARNING: Narumiya Mei is OOC.**

 **This story starts off in their last term of their final year of high school and ends when they graduate from university.**

 **I actually did not expect to write this one-shot, but I hope you enjoy reading it.**

 **I** **f there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY! Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own** **Diamond no Ace.**

* * *

"I'm going abroad for four years." Hana whispered to Mei. "The program accepted me. I didn't expect and-"

"Okay. When are you leaving?" The nonchalance in his voice hurt her more than she had expected.

"I'll..." She looked at her hands with fake interest, unwilling to show _him_ that she cared for him more than he ever cared for her. "I'll text you."

"Alright." As if he never heard the news, he turned to her with eager. "So you know about Mika, right?"

Her lips curled into a somewhat shaky smile. "Of course. Why wouldn't I know?"

 _That girl was the bane of her existence._ She apparently comforted Mei when he was at his lowest and that had captured the pitcher's heart.

Even though she was the one who cared for him the most and waited for him to open up to her, he assumed by himself that she forgot about him and that she did not care for him in the same way as this _Mika_ \- this unexpected person who came into the picture quite abruptly - did. Bitterness swirled into the deepest depths of her heart. Sometimes, she was happy to be in the presence of her good friend - her only love, but now, she felt suffocated. She could not breathe. Everything was crashing down on her like an avalanche.

That was why she applied to the overseas program on a whim. She never expected to get accepted into it, but strangely enough, she was. Considering that she did not want to see Mei with this Mika girl, she decided to accept. It was her way to escape. It was her way of coping. It was her way of dying a little bit more on the inside.

"I'm going to leave." Hana suddenly stood up in the middle of his speech about his adoration for this girl. "I have a lot of things to do and I need to start packing."

"Oh." He blinked before standing up too. "Okay. Want me to walk you home?"

"No. I'm fine." Her voice was clipped and stiff. "I can go by myself."

"Alright..."

She turned her heel and walked away from him without turning her head in his direction.

- _6 months later_ -

Hana had stopped talking to Mei when she started the program, but she had a really good excuse. After all, he was going out with the Mika girl and she could not stand him going on and on about her. That was why she completely ended all communication with Mei. However, he could always start the conversation with her if he ever wanted to, since she had kept the communication channel open. Despite this, he never did contact her. So without any thoughts about him, she always kept herself busy, trying to get the best out of the program, especially since it is not a normal occurrence to be abroad for education purposes.

As she was getting beaten down by the homesickness and the stress from the program, she received an unexpected message from Mei. He greeted her as if nothing bad had occurred between the two of them. While the normalcy in their conversation calmed and excited her, it also crushed her heart. She wanted to desperately find out if he was still going out with Mika, but she also did not want to know. She was afraid that her fragile heart might crumble, so she kept silent as her feelings for him began to grow painfully once more.

Whether it was from pure insanity or stupid thoughtlessness, Hana sent a long message to Mei about how she felt towards him. At first, she sent it to him after realizing that she was never going to be happy if she kept holding onto these pesky emotions of love towards him, but she started to deeply regret her decision. It was only time that she was going to break and as expected, when his message finally arrived after a couple of tense days, she finally broke.

As she expected, he had rejected her with laughable reasons that made her despair, rage, and crumpled.

 _[I only think of you as a sister.]_

Those were his exact words. That was worse than being rejected as a friend.

"I'm pathetic for not telling him in person."

He told her that they should just stay as friends and she was fine with that to a certain extent. She thought that he meant it that they should stay as friends. She thought that their friendship would just remain the same. But she was wrong. He never contacted her after that. Even after she sent one message of basically offering the same normalcy of friendship as before, he never responded back. With great bitterness, she saw him as a coward - a coward who could not own up to his words.

Throwing her emotions and thoughts about him to the dusty black corner of her mind, she threw herself in her work and ignored the warnings of others to rest. She hoped that her feelings for him would die eventually as time passed by and whenever she thought about him, she chided herself about his cowardice and immaturity, which helped her calm down at least in the short-term of things.

 _\- 1 year and 6 months later -_

Hana stepped foot on the campus of the university that she transferred to. It felt good to know that she completed the program very early, compared to most of her peers. It also felt nice that she was back in Japan for good. Once she finished her two years at this university, she would get her Bachelor's degree. Nothing made her more proud than her accomplishments. However, apprehension and anxiety permeated her being.

Hana inwardly knew that Mei attended this certain university. While she did not choose the school for his sake, she knew that she would eventually meet him one day. If she was lucky, she could pretend that she does not know him and vice versa. It seemed like the most logical action to do, considering that he was the logical one out of them.

"There's no way he would recognize me now." She had chopped her hair short and all of her clothes were very different from what she wore in the past. She even had a little bit of makeup on. It was a little feminine, compared to the old her, but she liked it.

Putting on her sunglasses, she decided to head to the office to meet her supervisor, while calling her mother. Soon, a group of men ran past her as she heatedly talked to her mother about her living arrangements. From the corner of her eye, she immediately found the familiar blond head with great reluctance and anxiety. Counting the seconds in which he is about to pass by her and hopefully not notice her in her head, she forced herself to act as if she did not notice him. Her heart thudded violently against her ribcage, making it hard to breathe properly, but she managed to act normal. She tried hard.

As he was about to pass her and she was about to release a sigh of relief, he turned around as if unsure. "Hana...?"

Cursing her body, she had paused in her walk and braced herself for the inevitable. Turning towards him, she gave him a nervous smile. "Narumiya-kun."

"What are you doing here?"

"I transferred."

"Oh, then-"

Hearing the noise from the phone, she motioned for him to wait as she talked on the phone. "Wait, mother, I'm trying to talk to someone right now. Give me a second."

"So where are you headed?"

"To the office. I need to meet my supervisor."

"Ah, I see. We should eat out soon. Maybe catch up on a few things?"

"Okay." She highly doubted that he wanted to do such a thing. Perhaps it was merely to be polite. She could not tell.

"Well, I should be on my way. Be sure to contact me!"

"Okay." She watched him hesitantly turn around and run to catch up with the others. That was when she let out her breath. "That was too hard." She wondered why he could not just pretend that he never saw her. After all, wasn't he the logical one out of them both? It irritated her that he could not even do that for her.

"Does he really think that I would want to talk to him after he rejected me and essentially lied to me about continuing to be friends with him?" She snarled to herself before walking away. "Selfish bastard."

 _\- 1 month later -_

Hana carried her laptop down the stairs when she heard a group of males talking and walking in her general direction. It was late at night and she really wanted to get some sleep. Yawning, she was going to pass by the group when one called out to her.

"Hana?"

"Yes?" She accidentally responded back normally. Regret of her choice overwhelmed her immediately. It was Mei again. This time, his friends were there too. She had many regrets and this is one that she will never forget in her life.

"Do you live around here?"

"Yes."

"Where are you staying?"

"At the dorms."

"I also live in the dorms."

She did not voice it, but the word - obviously - was said in a very disdain tone in her thoughts.

"We should get together some time and catch up."

"Okay."

"Contact me."

"Okay." Her memory on what happened exactly was a little foggy, but she knew that he kept asking her to contact him first, so she contemplated on what to do next. However, due to the transition that she had to get used to, she soon forgot.

\- _2 months later_ -

Hana cursed herself inwardly. Why the fuck did she decide to accompany her friend to the store? Oh yes, because she was in a great mood and it was for the apartment party. If it was not for that, she would have never went to the store today. Spotting that irritating vomit-inducing blond hair of his, she hoped that this time, he would ignore her and act as if she did not exist, considering his friend was there with him, but she was wrong again. The moment he spotted her as she pretended to look at the items on the shelves, he left his friend and walked up to her with that annoying smile of his. Sometimes, she wondered if she really looked at him properly. His face shone with more openness and happiness, compared to the past.

"Did he grow a little bit?" She muttered to herself before cursing under her breath when he reached her. It was getting hard to breathe again. _How suffocating_.

"Hana."

"Narumiya-kun." Her voice sounded cold and clipped - even to her ears. She expected him to flinch, but he gave no indication of it. He stood closer to her than she expected. It was as if he was a wall that she had to overcome, so she turned her body, facing the shelves. Scanning the items and pretending to look for something, her mind whirred like a broken engine. She was so focused on the sound of his breathing, his every movement, and the sound of his voice. He asked her various questions again as if trying to get to know her - _this new her_. Her short stiff answers soon brought about a very heavy tension in the aisle. Discomfort laid in her heart. She wanted to scream at him and ask him why he kept doing this to her - _why he won't fucking leave her alone_. She wanted to demand that he act as if they were strangers, but she kept silent.

When she spotted her friend heading towards the cashier, she finally had an excuse to leave. Motioning to her friend, she said, "My friend is done now. I have to leave."

"Oh okay, but we really should get together soon, so contact me."

"Okay." As she turned around and headed towards the cashier, she felt his eyes boring into her. Even after she heard his own friend talking to him, she still felt his unnerving gaze. Perhaps, that was why she quickly hurried her friend out of the store and laughed out loud at her friend's words as if her friend made a very hilarious joke - as if to show him that she was not affected by him at all - before exiting the store.

 _Not affected at all..._

 _\- 1 month later -_

Hana really needed to stop going to the store. As her terrible luck had it, the blonde coward found her in the aisles and engaged in small talk with her, separating from his friend once more. She never understood it.

Why did his face brighten when he saw her? He rejected her for goodness sake. Shouldn't he realize that she did not want to talk to him? Does he really think she would be happy to see him?

Her thoughts and unanswered questions made her bitter once more.

"Hana, we should get together." He paused before continuing. "Contact me, okay?"

Was he being sincere or was he just being polite?

She wanted to demand answers from him and ask him why he was acting this way, but she just gave him a curt nod before walking away once she found the items she needed from the store.

After much deliberation and after deciding that he was probably being polite, she came to one conclusion. In order to let go of him and to release this anger and bitterness towards him, she needed to meet him one last time - properly in person, so she texted him.

Unfortunately, since both of them were too busy, their schedules clashed and they could not meet at all. When he suggested lunch, she refused since she could not change her schedule in any way, but when she suggested dinner, he refused since he was too busy on those days. In the end, the conversation turned stagnant and she no longer had the energy to continue.

Days and months passed since then. Once she moved out of the dorms and moved into an apartment during her final year of college, she no longer saw him by accident. Although she was relieved, she was also disappointed. She hoped that by seeing him more, she could get rid of her lingering feelings towards him. Sometimes, she would forget about him, but sometimes, she yearned for him. It was like battling against an addiction that she hated and loved.

As she stood in the middle of the university campus, she looked down at her graduation gown with forlorn and excitement. She had managed to do the impossible - to graduate a little earlier than the rest of her peers.

And now? Now, she was ready to take on the world - _the real world_.

* * *

 **Well I have mixed feelings about this one-shot. I was going to make it a happy ending, but that would have made it longer than I wanted. The end is bittersweet to me, but it can't be helped. That is life. Sometimes, romances and crushes aren't meant to be. So what do you think? Do you think he rejected her because he really did see her as a sisterly figure? What are your thoughts on his actions once they see each other again? Very curious about people's analyses and observations made since I wrote this on a whim when I wanted to write something filled with angst, spitefulness, and disappointment. :)**


End file.
